We saw a pigeon die this morning.
He hit the window with such a thud that we almost jumped out of our skin.
At first we thought the dog had been chasing him, but she was at the other end of the garden.
We got her inside and out of the way and ran back outside and saw the poor wood pigeon who'd collided with the French doors.
He wasn't in a good way.
At first I was hoping that he was just stunned. I waited for him to regain his senses and fly away, but he'd hit the glass so hard that he must have caused some real damage. He started to cough up blood, and he was struggling to breathe.
We knew that there was nothing that we could do to save him, there was too much blood. The only thing I could do for him was to try and keep him calm.
I sat with him and gently put my hand on his back. Sam was worried that I would catch something but they're no dirtier than any other animal and it didn't matter to me. He was so warm, and so soft, and I could feel his heart beating. He wasn't afraid, and it didn't take long.
He closed his eyes as I was stroking his feathers, took one last shallow breath, and then he was gone.
It might seem silly, I know he was "just a bird", but I didn't want him to be frightened. I didn't want him to die alone. I'm not sure how aware birds are or whether they're able to comprehend death, but as he died, I hope he felt calm and safe and that he wasn't too frightened.
Sam had to move him after he'd died. I was too upset. I'd started crying when I saw the blood and I couldn't stop. I love animals and I love feeding the birds in the garden, so to see one die up close and in such a painful way was hard for me.
I know that people don't tend to care about pigeons and it's easy for people to think of them as vermin, but this was a very real animal dying in front of me and it's actually made me feel very sad.
I feel like for a moment, he was the most important soul in the world, and by writing about it, it's taking the sadness away.
I'd ask anyone reading this (all 3 of you) to remember to be kind to animals. Feed the birds in your garden, leave some water out for them, make a bug hotel. Don't write the pigeons off as annoying pests, because they're just living their best lives and they feel pain just like we do.
